if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize