I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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