If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize