I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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