I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
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