I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
A bitchslap is in order.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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