I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
