Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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