your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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