I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Do vagina's smell?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
