it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
