We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
