Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
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