i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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