And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
