I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Someone came in the potted fern
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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