I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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