i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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