when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
