He uses pillows to masturbate.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
