Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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