Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
