I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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