I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
