Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
honey bunches of taint.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
