Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
it hurts more in the daytime
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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