I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
