that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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