Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
