I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
there is glitter all over my balls
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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