? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
