so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
