Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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