Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
