come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
