But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
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I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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