You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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