i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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