my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize