i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize