need another drink. this is the easiest way
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I touched a dick in church today
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
