is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
