Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
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I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
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On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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