I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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