I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
