she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize