whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
