Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize