Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
