I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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