I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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