areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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