I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
