My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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