Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He? As in you personified your dick?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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