weddingsv make me drug and hornr
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
