You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Damn victory sex feels great
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