how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
