so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
