wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
