You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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